Russian President Vladmir Putin confirmed that his country is working on the creation of an electromagnetic gun that attacks its target’s central nervous system, putting them in what we hope is a temporary, zombie-like state.
According to Russian defense minister Anatoly Serdyukov, “when it was used for dispersing a crowd and it was focused on a man, his body temperature went up immediately as if he was thrown into a frying pan.”
“We know very little about this weapon, and even special forces guys can hardly cope with it,” added Serdyukov. That doesn’t sound very comforting.
Mr Serdyukov said the weaponry based on new physics principles – direct-energy weapons, geophysical weapons, wave-energy weapons, genetic weapons and psychotronic weapons, and were part of the state arms procurement program for 2011-2020.
While this technology is certainly disturbing, thankfully, it’s unlikely to be the cause of the inevitable zombie apocalypse.
Victims of the gun don’t develop a taste for human brains. And seeing that the zombie effect isn’t viral, they won’t be able to go around turning other people into the restless undead.
One has to wonder why someone would ask for a Freedom of Information Request for zombie attacks. Could it be someone with a real fear of zombies, someone who knows something we don’t, a fan of zombie movies or perhaps some batsh!t crazy person?
Thanks to FAILBlog
Police rushed to the scene in Connecticut after a resident spotted 15 young ‘zombie women’ in bikinis with blood-splattered bodies.
The Connecticut police were called by a panicked resident on Mathewson Street, Enfield, who claimed that they were ‘alarmed’ by a group of young scantily clad ‘zombie women’ in bikinis.
The 15 young bikini clad women were described as being blood-splattered and acting strangely.
Police sped to the scene to check out what the disturbance was. They discovered that the women were part of a group of make-up artists who were dressed up for a calendar shoot.
A sister of one of the group’s make-up artist’s spoke out on the local Hartford Courant website.
Posting as Ninabeth, she said: ‘As the sister of one of the organisers, I think that someone actually called and complained is completely pathetic.
‘This is just a bunch of talented individuals trying to create something they can be proud of. The pictures they have so far are incredible.’