You have to laugh at some of the wording used by police departments when reporting on a crime.

Michael Aguiar, 20, was arrested after, according to a Palmetto Police Department report, he “maliciously molested, opened, broke, injured, damaged and inserted his body parts” into a vending machine at a coin laundry establishment in order to get cash out.

Aguiar entered Budick Coin Laundry at 706 Ninth St. W. According to an arrest report, a witness who recognized Aguiar from the incident called police.

Aguiar was read his rights when police arrived and initially denied the allegations until he was given the chance to observe surveillance video.

He then confessed to breaking into the vending machine and taking $10 worth of coins from it.

The report did not go into detail as to which body parts were used.

Aguiar has been charged with burglary and two violations of probation. He is currently being held in Manatee County jail without bond.

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